Having taken last weekend off and recharged my tipping batteries I have returned fresh and full of beans! I see the hype around a certain Mr G Bale hasn't quite died yet, with all the good players in both sides for the North London derby, apparently Wenger will be positively shitting it at the thought of the Welsh boy running quite fast. From what I've seen if you're stupid enough (looking at the fat Spanish waiter here) to leave a slower full back on his own to deal with him then he'll knock it round and chase it, much like when you were 11. I'm sure Wenger is clever enough to combat this 'threat'. I also had the misfortune to watch England's C team get taught a lesson by France's B team on Wednesday. This really shouldn't be a suprise as our A team lack technique and invention, why the C team would be different is beyond me. Apparently Harry Redknapp is the answer, to which I would only respond, what the fuck was the question? Who has the droopiest face in the Premier League? Who is the most tactically naive manager currently managing?
Arsenal v Tottenham, Saturday 1245
Talking of the Premier Leagues sloppiest cheeked man, his team make the short trip to The Emirates this week for the North London derby. Here's some stats for you...the Spuds haven't beaten one of the Sky 4 away in their last 68 games and haven't won at Arsenal since 1993. Arsenal are currently playing pretty well and have added some grit to their ever-present tippy tappy tartiness. Redknapp also has a lengthy injury list to contend with, but he has bought crocks and extra players in positions he didn't need them so he'll get fuck all sympathy from me. I'm confident Arsenal can turn over a makeshift Spuds team so I'll even give them a slight handicap to overcome. Get on a -0.75 hcap at Ladbrokes and thank me later.
Birmingham v Chelsea, Saturday 1500
The shock of the season took place at Stamford Bridge last Sunday with Sunderland rocking up and turning the champions over. I mean, Christ, even Nedum Onuoha made mugs of Chelsea's backup defence. I had warned pre-season that I thought Chelsea's backup was amongst the worst in the top half and it looked spot on last weekend. For all the talk of the top, top youngsters coming through, Ancelotti still didn't play Bruma at centre half. He rather chose to play a shit right back there (Ferreira). The injuries continue this week and it will be interesting to see if Bruma gets a chance, I think he's crap so I wouldn't expect it mind you. Birmingham haven't been at all impressive or entertaining, but they are still hard to beat. I really fancy Brum to get a draw in this one and prolong Chelsea's misery. Best price is again at Laddies at 3.75.
Blackpool v Wolves, Saturday 1500
Two of the Premier Leagues lesser lights take on each other at Bloomfield Road on Saturday. Wolves are beginning to show a bit more than earlier on in the season, but are still woefully inept up front. I like both Kevin Doyle and Steven Fletcher, but they've been toilet so far. I think both work better with a poacher and Wolves do not own one of those. Blackpool will be without their best player, Charlie Adam, this weekend and that will really hurt them. If Wolves had more firepower I'd be all over them as Blackpool aren't great at home either, but they aren't so I'm not! Coral have Wolves at 2.1 Draw No Bet and I'll take the safety net of that.
Bolton v Newcastle, Saturday 1500
This match has 2 of the suprise packages so far this season meeting at the world renowned Reebok Stadium. I jest, it's a soulless dump really. Anyway, Newcastle have been my Wigan this season, in as much as I just can't predict their match results. I've been a Bolton backer quite often, but if the Newcastle team that dicked Villa and Arsenal turn up then it's curtains for Bolton. I think this match might have some goals. Don't know why really, just got a feeling it will! Bodog go 1.95 on over 2.5 goals and I fancy that!
Man Utd v Wigan, Saturday 1500
Traditionally Wigan have turned up for this fixture and rolled over. There has been a truly shocking lack of effort in some of the 'matches' between these 2. Dave Whelan seems to want favours from Utd and therefore gives them the 3 points every season. This really gets my goat in terms of fair play and all that, but it makes betting a doddle usually. I say usually as this season Utd have not been covering handicaps at all. With Wayne Rooney seemingly taking an indefinite amount of time to recover from having a threesome with ladies of the night, and Berba reverting to type and being a lazy, sulky, Kevin the teenager style twat, Utd are short of goals. The supporting cast have weighed in on occasion, but noone is sticking or providing any regularity. I think it could again take Utd a while to get into gear so I'll take a stab at Draw/Utd in the HT/FT market. Odds of 4.5 are widely available if you fancy following.
West Brom v Stoke, Saturday 1500
I think this should be my tip of the weekend. Stoke have been grinding out results at home this season, but have been shown up with their brand of non-football away. West Brom are set up with a solid back 4 then players willing to attack at pace given the opportunity. I have been hugely impressed with Odemwingie so far and I gather he should return for this match. Stoke's habit of fielding 4 hulking behemoth centre backs across the backline this season has seen them aerially dominate, but god they're slow. WBA should hopefully rip them apart. Victor Chandler are going 2.25 on the home win and that's my tip of the weekend.
Liverpool v West Ham, Saturday 1730
This has all the ingredients to be one of the worst matches in living memory. Pool are definitely without captain fantastic and possibly Torres. West Ham are utter shit. Neither team will want to lose this one, West Ham are desperate for points and Liverpool wont want the embarrassment and lack goals. It should be a similar team for the hosts to the one that has bored me to tears in the Europa Cup so far this season. West Ham are having trouble scoring goals from any source and other than 'Scotty' Parker they look like they don't care either. I think Betfair prices of 1.95 are very generous on under 2.5 goals from these two.
Blackburn v Aston Villa, Sunday 1330
In what promises to be another thrilling encounter, hoofball merchants Aston Villa meet dirty hoofball merchants Blackburn. If you're trying to catch up on sleep then I guarantee this match should help you with that. The most thoroughly unlikeable tosser in Premier League management Big Fat Sam Allardyce is the master of winning these tight contests, oftne by just generally being happy to completely forgo entertainment for a scrappy goal and spoiling play. Villa aren't exactly enterprising, they are simply more likely to punt it down a wing for their speedy wide players to chase. All this should add up to a low-scoring match with little for the neutral to admire. And probably some fantastic pre and post match comments about how brilliant he is and how awful foreign managers are from the Fat One. God knows what to bet on in this, unders have not been kind to me this season and are short prices for this. I'm going to go for Gael Givet to get booked at 2.25 at Skybet, Ashley Young and Marc Albrighton are both quick enough to cause him some problems that a swift kick might stop.
Fulham v Man City, Sunday 1600
This one has a grudge match feel to it with Mark Hughes possibly being able to condemn his successor at City to the sack with a win. I don't agree that Mancini should be sacked if he fails to win this, but certain elements of the media are convinced that is the case. Saying that he has failed to find anyone to relieve the goalscoring burden from Carlos Tevez and isn't picking Adam Johnson or playing David Silva in his natural position, which would surely help create chances. Yaya Toure looked a good signing to me, but it looks like the bulk of his hefty wage has gone on pies so far, the great fat git. Hughes has always seemed a prickly sort to me and will definitely be out for some revenge. He should have his team fired up and aiming for an all too rare win. Having Moussa Dembele back also means Hughes has a striker to pick and Dempsey to support him. I like City a lot, and think Mancini should be given more time, but I fancy a Fulham win. Betfair still have them at 3.4, but that price is being cut all the time so get on quick!
Sunderland v Everton, Monday 2000
Having sprung the shock result of the season so far at Stamford Bridge last Sunday maybe Bruce's team can start to justify the considerable outlay. I've never understood why he is so immune from criticism in the press. He's spent a fortune at Sunderland and only Bent and Gyan have worked out so far. He also left some of his earlier clubs as soon as a better offer came in and should at least be viewed as a money grabber like Sven for that. I suspect it's because he's English that he gets away with it, but I've seen through him. He's an average manager who has set up a good scouting network, probably due to his strange close ties with Arsene Wenger. Everton had finally got into gear and were unbeaten in 7 before last weeks home defeat by Arsenal. They are another team painfully short of fit strikers and have struggled for goals for a lot of the season. Sunderland's defence is prone to being extremely generous though, so they should get some chances in this. I fancy both teams to score at 2.0 with William Hill.
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