So here we are, on the anniversary of my birth, looking where I can spend those 2 pounds taped inside my card this weekend? It's been a good week for me personally in terms of seeing some utterly deserving people getting it right in mush. First off we have the ever hilarious goings on at the biggest club of the 80's, Liverpool. The more ascerbic of their fans managed to get Woy the chop for the seemingly difficult task of polishing a turd. Also, we got to see Real Madrid as good as throw away the La Liga title and Mourinho making noises suggesting he's going to throw his toys out and quit too. Poor little lamb. Only being given £100mil to improve a team that was 2 points from the title last season, it's just not fair. And finally, my personal favourite, Big Enormously Fat Sam seemingly whoreing himself to West Ham. And them even more hilariously preferring having the grim reaper himself in charge. If only he was called Allaricio! This week's musical recommendation is Poison by Hot Water Music.
Wolves v Liverpool, Saturday 1245
Ah Liverpool not at Anfield, it's the gift that keeps on giving! Whilst they're not bad at home, they are the very definition of toilet away, and have made me many pounds this year with some frankly silly prices on offer for them. Wolves are a side beginning to finally get the results their endeavour and work rate are deserving of. This will spell trouble for Pool. The one thing they hate is a team battling against them, the lack of pride in the shirt at times has been disgraceful. Wolves have been known to sit back too much against the better sides, but it is a mark of how far Pool have fallen that I would expect McCarthy to go for a win from the off in this. He has rested some key players midweek and also saw Stevie Fletcher score and generally impress too. Every week the bookies are getting closer to the right price for Liverpool, but they're still off this week having them as short as 2.1 in some places. Victor Chandler go 2.37 on Wolves in the Draw No Bet market, lump on!
Arsenal v Wigan, Saturday 1500
Having watched the Gooners dispatch Leeds with relative ease in their FA Cup replay, it again begs the question of why they are so much better away? I think the answer probably lies somewhere starting with the fact the opposition are a bit more open when at home, and this benefits the pacey Arsenal team. There will naturally be a little more room and it means they can make more clinical passes and open teams up better. This being said, they're only at the bleedin Emirates this week. However comma they are up against a piss-poor Wigan side who are destined to find their more natural level at League 1 soon. The hopelessness of West Ham is somewhat shifting the gaze from sides like Wigan and Fulham who as well as just generally being crap, are also mind-numbingly dull to watch. They actually haven't been horrific at the back, but with Fabregas having had a bit of a rest, Nasri running the Leeds game, and RVP coming back into ominous form, I'll be all over the king's of North London in this. I think the Gunners are good to at least cover the handicaps, but the prices are still a bit short for all but the big hitters. Boylesports have gone a frankly massive 2.37 on Samir Nasri finding the net, that's the bet for me.
Blackpool v Sunderland, Saturday 1500
This should be an interesting match. Blackpool have turned up a number of shocks this year, and under Ian Holloway seemingly never settle for less than a win. This has made them incredibly watchable and popular with the neutral fan. Doing the double over Liverpool helped with me too! Their away form has actually been the most impressive though, presumably as teams are ignoring the evidence and not expecting the full assault. Sunderland will line-up sans Darren Bent this weekend. Aston Villa have stumped up a gargantuan £20 odd million for the man Sloopy Chops thought shit, even though he was Spurs top scorer the season before he left. The silly droopy faced twat. He's no Messi, but in Premier League football he knows where the goal is. To those saying he's a waste, if he keeps Villa up, and even helps them push on, then he's a fucking steal. Anyway, Sunderland seemed to have taken measures to cope without him when buying Asamoah Gyan in the summer. He has acclimatised to the English game very quickly and has formed a good partnership of his own with Danny Welbeck. The problem lies in that Welbeck is out too. This lack of firepower is enough for me to back the Seasiders. Victor Chandler are again standout at 3.0.
Everton v West Ham, Saturday 1500
Another week and more misery seemingly lies in store for West Ham's intrepid followers. They always take a good number away and I personally thoroughly enjoyed their company at the home game with Stoke last season. A real community atmosphere often lacking at the pinnacle of the game. This wont save them though. The players are in parts terrible, in parts lazy and then there's Scott Parker. A man amongst boys this lad. God knows how far adrift they'd be without him, but adrift they are anyway, and they look doomed to me. Everton have been very Jeckyll and Hyde so far this season. Capable of beating most teams when on form, this hasn't been the case nearly often enough. The lack of a striker who can score has been the problem, and they are also missing midfield goal-grabber Tim Cahill at the moment as he takes part in the Asian Cup with Australia. They'll not get a better chance to score a hatful than in this, but I still see it being a low scorer. Under 2.5 goals at around 1.95 with a number of firms for me.
Fulham v Stoke, Saturday 1500
As mentioned previously, Fulham have been dire for most of this season. Mark Hughes has never set the world alight as a manager for me. He's been good for spells, he's no clown, but he comes up short on a number of occasions too. Stoke are still a good team on the road and are close to finalising a deal for the inventively nicknamed 'Big' John Carew. Pulis seems to love buying strikers and then not playing them, and it seems hard to figure out how he and Kenwyne Jones would play together. Both thrive on being the target and having other play off them. I assume he'll be back-up. Whatever criticism you level at the Potters, they will stay in the Prem as long as they play as they do. The lesser lights can't cope with the physical battling that Pulis demands of his team and all credit to him. I think they're backable here too. Fulham love a draw so I'll go Draw No Bet just in case. Coral are best price at 2.5 for an away win in that market.
Man Utd v Birmingham, Saturday 1500
Another weekend and probably another thoroughly underwhelming win for Sir Wrigley's side. They are a team built on the brilliant defence of Vidic and Ferdinand and the occasional flair of Berbatov and Nani. Wayne 'Wazza' Rooney can fuck off. He has reverted to being a useless gobby scrote this season and I'd love to see him relegated to the bench with the promising Hernandez given more game time. For all the press and pundits, as well as his moronic manager, might say, he has not been good for almost a calendar year now. He's been terrible for most of that and it no longer counts as a slump. How the Glazers must wish they'd have waved 'Adios' when the awful looking twat tried to force a transfer now. They're stuck with him as no fool would take him on on his current wage now. Brum are still mired in the relegation mix-up at present. They need a striker desperately if they are to get out of trouble and I think they have the perfect man on the bench. My campaign to give Matt Derbyshire a chance hasn't really picked up yet, but he's a man who scores when playing and he surely can't be worse than Big Bird look-e-likey Nikola Zigic, can he? I fancy a win to nil for United here again, Paddy Power are 1.8 on that.
Newcastle v Spurs, Saturday 1500
The unpredictable Geordie's take on Spurs at St James Park this Saturday knowing they should have beat arch-rivals Sunderland last Sunday. Spurs also had a fine chance to beat Man Utd and managed to royally blow it by playing Peter Crouch. The beanpole hitman has a solitary goal this year and it is another mark against 'Top, top' manager Sloppy Chops that Roman Pavluychenko is not given more of a chance. The vodka loving striker might not be the hardest worker, but he's infintely more likely to score than Crouch. It'll be the same story this week I think and if Andy Carroll is fully recovered then it'll be another example of why Spurs will not be making a title tilt any time soon. They can beat your mid-table teams by 2 or 3 sometimes, but their lack of tactics leaves them hopelessly exposed when the team is not on top of it's collective game. Once again Victor Chandler provide the best price for the non-favs with a 3.5 quote for a home win.
Aston Villa v Man City, Saturday 1500
Darren Bent will be the focus of attention for this match, and rightly so. Villa's new record signing is the man Ged Houllier has pinned both this season's hopes and presumably the future of the club on. Whilst they are struggling, Villa boast quite a good set of wide players, they were lacking a man to find the net. With Heskey to do the grunt work and Albrighton, Young or Agbonlahor whipping balls in, Bent should thrive on this kind of service. It looks a very astute, if expensive, signing. Man City have risen to the very top of the table at points even though to believe some 'experts' you'd think they were struggling in mid-table. Carlos Tevez again scored last weekend, and he should be right up there for player of the year. David Silva also returned to action and should be part of a 3 pronged attack with Edin Dzeko and the unfortunately faced Argie this weekend. Whilst I think Villa will pull clear eventually, I think it will be asking a lot to compete with this City side. I think we'll see some late goals in this for some reason! Best price is Betfair at 2.1 on the second half having most goals, I'll have a bit on that.
Blackburn v West Brom, Sunday 1600
The only match on Sunday, and I'm struggling to get that excited about it. West Brom travel to the arse end of Lancashire to take on a Blackburn team ticking over nicely under Steve Kean's management. Argentinian playmaker Juan Roman Riquelme has been in town for talks this week, and he fits the bill for the club. He's past his best, but capable of magic, cheap to buy, and also a bit of a gamble. He isn't a worker or a particularly quick player, he will try and dictate a match from in between midifeld and strikers. An interesting signing if they pull it off. WBA managed to end their awful streak of losses with a 3-2 home win over Blackpool last weekend. It again showed though that they are heavily reliant on Peter Odemwingie putting on a good display for them to triumph. Without his invention and goals they often look very much a Championship side. He's not an away performer normally so I'm happy to take quotes of around 2.2 on a home victory.
Bolton v Chelsea, Monday 2000
The last match of the weekend is a Monday night match from the Reebok, with Ancelotti's Chelsea the visitors. Whilst they have now picked up a couple of wins on the spin, they were at home to mid-table Blackburn and away at Championship strugglers Ipswich. It doesn't fill me with any confidence on backing them at odds on in this. Bolton were as high as 5th in the table at one point and are a perfectly decent side under Owen Coyle after years of shit football or mediocrity under Big Fat Sam and Gary 'Boring' Megson respectively. Back to Chelsea and in particular Didier Drogba. He looks an absolute shadow of the man who has terrorised Prem defences for the past few seasons and at the age of 33 it is debatable whether he will redispver this sort of form or whether to look to someone like Daniel Sturridge being given a chance before dipping into the transfer market. Coral are standout on Bolton and the Draw in the Double Chance market and I'm happy to take Chelsea on.
Friday, 21 January 2011
Friday, 14 January 2011
The Premier League reconvenes...
Here we are then. The FA Cup and Carling Cup out of the way and staring down the barrel of a return to matters in the Premier League. Having seen Arsenal struggling to dispatch Championship sides Leeds and Ipswich, I am left wondering whether we truly are watching the 'bestest League anyone's ever seen...ever' over here? Or is it, as I suspect, a massive crock o' horseshit? Having also tuned on to some Copa Del Rey action from Spain and seen Barcelona and Real Madrid in action, I can confirm they would both walk away with the Prem this season. I can't think of more than 2 or 3 players given the choice of the entire Premier Leagues players that either side would want. I have also seen the tired argument that La Liga is another SPL and that the sides who are not Real or Barca are simply crap. This too is crap. Villarreal would give any side in the Prem a match, and would beat the vast majority at home. Valencia are still a class side, even having had to sell most of their best players. And even Atletico Madrid, La Liga's very own Man City in terms of madness, have players like Kun Aguero and Diego Forlan that most teams over here would chew their arms off for. Rant over this weeks musical recommendation again comes from Scandinavia. I am picking out Turbonegro and the foot tapper Gimme Some.
Chelsea v Blackburn, Saturday 1500
No early kick-offs on Saturday this week so, alphabetically-speaking, first up is Chelsea hosting Blackburn. Chelsea saw off Ipswich 7-0 in the FA Cup last Sunday and will be hoping this is a sign of a return to their all-conquering early season form. They have drifted as far as 9-1 for the title now on a back of a horrendous run, which sees them with 1 win since November 10th in the league. It has also been revealed that Frank Lampard will never fully recover from the hamstring strain that has been haunting him all season. Whilst I think he's a glorified second striker and not a midfielder at all, this will hurt Chelsea. It's also another reminder of the age this side is creeping towards. Injuries will carry on for longer and linger as the team's average age rises. Blackburn this week failed in their audacious attempts to bring the Brazilian Bucky O'Hare to the grim north. My parents like the north and can find something nice to say about nearly everywhere they've ever visited. However comma they described Blackburn variously as soulless, dark, sad and dreary. Needless to say they were not involved in the Samba star's negotiations. Having instead chosen to go back to Brazil (who'd have thought!?), Rovers will have to rely on what they've got. In this run of form I can't back Chelsea. Coral have a frankly ludicrous 4.33 on Blackburn and the Draw in the Double Chance market and I'll be on that.
Man City v Wolves, Saturday 1500
This match could give us a first glimpse of new Citeh signing Edin Dzeko (Jekko for you pedants of pronunciation) in action. I am of the opinion that he's another excellent signing by Mancini and exactly the sort of player that is both needed for the team and atmosphere. He's young enough to be ambitious and he's a big man who can play as a focal point of a forward line. This will free up Carlos Tevez to roam from a wing or central role and should see him flourish even more. This is also another game where Citeh need to prove they can break down a team who sets up not to concede as their priority. This being said, at Eastlands Citeh have been very impressive so far. Wolves were involved in what my Gran might call 'a right humdinger' against Championship Doncaster, finishing up in a 2-2 draw. Mick McCarthy always prioritises the league though, so there were players rested. As impressed as I have been with the men from the Black Country of late, I can only see a convincing Citeh win in this. Odds of 2.05 are widely available on the home team -1.5 and I'm happy enough with that.
Stoke v Bolton, Saturday 1500
Two teams that look destined to be around mid-table, with a possible push for Europe occasionally for the next few seasons. Bolton have been as high as 4th so far, but have been pegged back a bit since then, with clean sheets about as rare as they are in a Czech brothel. Stoke are a formidable team. They don't get bogged down in the task of actually passing the ball between 5 players when a fucking good hoof to Kenwyne Jones will do perfectly well. To say they aren't easy on the eye is an understatement to rival calling Javier Mascherano a bit shit. He's the worst player I've ever seen, and his complete lack of ability is seeing him getting splinters on the Barcelona bench. This seems a hard one to call, and I'm going to hedge my bets a bit. William Hill are a standout 1.95 for both teams to score, and Bolton's forwards and dodgy backline encourage me there.
West Brom v Blackpool, Saturday 1500
Two of the promoted sides this year meet and with Blackpool currently threatening to become a top half side! West Brom caught the eye early in the season with results like the win at the Emirates particularly impressive. They are currently in a rotten run with no wins in 6 matches now though and goals proving hard to come by. Blackpool went behind to Liverpool on Wednesday, but still came back to win 2-1. I'll get into Liverpool in more depth in their write up, but suffice to say, King Kenny has not turned things round and looks as clueless as Woy currently. Most forms have WBA as odds-on in this and I think that gives punters the opportunity to clean up. Most of Blackpool's best results have been on their travels and I'll be backing another such result in this. Best price on the away win is 4.6 with Victor Chandler and I'd make that a must-back this weekend.
Wigan v Fulham, Saturday 1500
This match has little to offer the neutral. Both teams have struggled for wins this term and will regard this as a must-not-lose rather than a must-win. Fulham's problems on the road are well known now and against a Wigan team that doesn't concede many in front of their 7 fans they'll struggle. Wigan are utter dross too though and it would be with no confidence at all I'd back them on match prices. With Hugo Rodallega and Charles Insomnia in the side they do have some class, but scoring has been a problem. Fulham are still without Bobby Zamora and Moussa Dembele still looks rusty so I think Wigan could keep them at bay. Skybet go 2.87 on a Wigan clean sheet and that's the one for me here.
West Ham v Arsenal, Saturday 1730
The late kick-off sees Avram Grant again looking likely to lose his job if he loses another match. The poor sod should really just quit and tell the David's and Brady what a truly useless bunch of owners they are. Whilst the Hammers poor start is still hampering them, they have been looking a lot better in the last month and are above Chelsea in 9th in the current form table. I am aware he is seen as some sort of chancer who just gets jobs from his mates, but a look at Grant's CV will reveal that, whilst not one of the greats, he's no fool. Arsenal travel on the back of failing to beat 2 Championship sides in the cups in the last week. Particular scorn should be reserved for Andrey Arshavin, in my opinion, as he looks completely disinterested this season. When he decides to make some effort he undoubtebly possesses an ability to open a defence, but he looks like he needs a move to give him a kick up the arse. Wenger is not renowned as a motivator and it seems he is not the man to raise Arshavin out of his current malaise. It's not just the meerkat alike that is struggling though, Nicklas Bendtner was horrible in both matches. I'm not so sure he's as bad as a lot of people would have you believe, but he isn't as good as he himself believes either. RVP should be back for this and that should see a more clinical edge returning. I think this could be one of those matches where Arsenal hit their stride so I'll handicap them by a goal on the asian handicap at a widely available 2.0.
Birmingham v Aston Villa, Sunday 1200
To kick-off a jam-packed, derby-filled Sunday it's the second city derby with Villa making the short trip to St Andrews. Both teams have not been firing recently and are struggling for goals. Matt Derbyshire has always looked a good player not getting a run to me, and that seems set to continue at the Blues. He scored 2 goals in their away win at Millwall in the FA Cup, before returning to the bench for their 2-1 Shit Beer Cup at West Ham. I think he could be an answer to their chronic lack of goals, but Big Eck seems reluctant to start him as the Fat One did at Blackburn. The horrible Fat Man. Villa have been absolutely useless under Ged Houllier for the most part. They have had players retuning from injury now and this has seen a 3-3 draw at Stamford Bridge followed by a 3-1 away win at Scunny in the FA Cup. The fans will hope this marks a return to the form they showed when playing hoofball under Martin O'Neill. I think they'll be lucky to win this though. Brum fans are putting pressure on McCleish to start with more than just the dreadful Zigic up front and I think he'll start this derby by attacking Villa's porous backline. Ladbrokes are 2.5 on a home win and that's good enough for me.
Sunderland v Newcastle, Sunday 1200
The second of the day's 3 derbies sees Sunderland seeking revenge on Newcastle at the Stadium Of Light. The undoubted highlight of the Geordie's season so far was the 5-1 mauling they gave their neighbours at St James Park and will live long in the memory of those who saw it. Steve Bruce has been given plenty of money at Sunderland and it is beginning to finally look like it has been well spent with their home form being superb in the main. If they could replicate some of their home performances on the road they'd be certainties for Europa League. Lee Cattermole seems to have curbed his early season bout of dickheadery which led to 2 red cards in quick succession. Asamoah Gyan has looked a good buy and Danny Welbeck has also looked an inspired loan signing. They actually look a much better side on paper than Liverpool, and who'd have thought that 2 years ago? Newcastle are capable of upsetting the odds, as they've proved a few times already, but they need Andy Carroll playing well generally to do so. He is still nursing a thigh strain after reportedly falling off his stool after 3 or 4 too many Jagerbombs on a night out. What. A. Man. Dirty shit that stuff, but we need more characters in the sport I think. This has seen him out of action for a while and he will at best be a bit rusty for this match. A few firms are still out at 2.2 on a home win and I'd take that before it settles around 2.1 on match day.
Liverpool v Everton, Sunday 1405
And so we finally arrive at this, King Kenny's return to derby action on Merseyside. Having been variously hailed as some sort of Messiah by certain parts of the Pool support, he has so far got a record of played 2, lost 2. Had Woy Hodgson lost to Blackpool after leading, and playing shit right back with no left foot Glen Johnson at left back, he would have come in for a roasting. So far this seems to have been glossed over by the 'best fans in the world'TM, in all the fawning over how good Pool were 20 years ago when he was last in charge. The fact they have steadily declined and barring Torres and Gerrard the current side would barely make that teams reserve side, is also a seldom heard thought on the red half of the divide. Everton are barely doing better. They seem to be having one of their season's of struggle and it has coincided with a complete loss of form from all their strikers. They desperately need some attacking impetus in this window or the season is in danger of becoming a complete write off. The motivation for both sides in this will be huge, and their will be the lesser spotted Anfield roar present. I think this might lead to some 'over-enthusiastic' challenges as players try to prove what 'men' they are. A sending off is priced up at 2.95 with Betfair and I think it's worth a tickle in a game that could go either way.
Tottenham v Man Utd, Sunday 1610
The last match of the weekend sees the still underwhelming United travelling to Shite Fart Lane to take on Twitchy Chops men. Spurs have struggled against the top 4 in recent years and need to improve that record if they are serious about breaking regularly into the Champions League and making a league challenge. They will rarely get a better chance to beat United. Away from home they have been particularly poor, and it is a damning indictment on the league that they are somehow still unbeaten. I suspect that the 'new Messi' as Bale seems to have been dubbed by Sky Sports, will struggle against the young and quick Rafael for United. They will be more likely to have success playing through the excellent Luka Modric and Rafa Van Der Vaart in the middle. Carrick and Fletcher in particular have looked like a pair of sluggish cloggers this term and if Spuds men perform they could be over-run. I would expect Rooney to return to the team, but possibly given a more withdrawn role to help the midfield. I personally think his new contract will go down as one of the biggest mistakes in football when Hernandez takes his starting role next season, but that's for another time. I will be all over Spurs like an Essex girl round a footballers appendage at 3.0 at Paddy Power.
Chelsea v Blackburn, Saturday 1500
No early kick-offs on Saturday this week so, alphabetically-speaking, first up is Chelsea hosting Blackburn. Chelsea saw off Ipswich 7-0 in the FA Cup last Sunday and will be hoping this is a sign of a return to their all-conquering early season form. They have drifted as far as 9-1 for the title now on a back of a horrendous run, which sees them with 1 win since November 10th in the league. It has also been revealed that Frank Lampard will never fully recover from the hamstring strain that has been haunting him all season. Whilst I think he's a glorified second striker and not a midfielder at all, this will hurt Chelsea. It's also another reminder of the age this side is creeping towards. Injuries will carry on for longer and linger as the team's average age rises. Blackburn this week failed in their audacious attempts to bring the Brazilian Bucky O'Hare to the grim north. My parents like the north and can find something nice to say about nearly everywhere they've ever visited. However comma they described Blackburn variously as soulless, dark, sad and dreary. Needless to say they were not involved in the Samba star's negotiations. Having instead chosen to go back to Brazil (who'd have thought!?), Rovers will have to rely on what they've got. In this run of form I can't back Chelsea. Coral have a frankly ludicrous 4.33 on Blackburn and the Draw in the Double Chance market and I'll be on that.
Man City v Wolves, Saturday 1500
This match could give us a first glimpse of new Citeh signing Edin Dzeko (Jekko for you pedants of pronunciation) in action. I am of the opinion that he's another excellent signing by Mancini and exactly the sort of player that is both needed for the team and atmosphere. He's young enough to be ambitious and he's a big man who can play as a focal point of a forward line. This will free up Carlos Tevez to roam from a wing or central role and should see him flourish even more. This is also another game where Citeh need to prove they can break down a team who sets up not to concede as their priority. This being said, at Eastlands Citeh have been very impressive so far. Wolves were involved in what my Gran might call 'a right humdinger' against Championship Doncaster, finishing up in a 2-2 draw. Mick McCarthy always prioritises the league though, so there were players rested. As impressed as I have been with the men from the Black Country of late, I can only see a convincing Citeh win in this. Odds of 2.05 are widely available on the home team -1.5 and I'm happy enough with that.
Stoke v Bolton, Saturday 1500
Two teams that look destined to be around mid-table, with a possible push for Europe occasionally for the next few seasons. Bolton have been as high as 4th so far, but have been pegged back a bit since then, with clean sheets about as rare as they are in a Czech brothel. Stoke are a formidable team. They don't get bogged down in the task of actually passing the ball between 5 players when a fucking good hoof to Kenwyne Jones will do perfectly well. To say they aren't easy on the eye is an understatement to rival calling Javier Mascherano a bit shit. He's the worst player I've ever seen, and his complete lack of ability is seeing him getting splinters on the Barcelona bench. This seems a hard one to call, and I'm going to hedge my bets a bit. William Hill are a standout 1.95 for both teams to score, and Bolton's forwards and dodgy backline encourage me there.
West Brom v Blackpool, Saturday 1500
Two of the promoted sides this year meet and with Blackpool currently threatening to become a top half side! West Brom caught the eye early in the season with results like the win at the Emirates particularly impressive. They are currently in a rotten run with no wins in 6 matches now though and goals proving hard to come by. Blackpool went behind to Liverpool on Wednesday, but still came back to win 2-1. I'll get into Liverpool in more depth in their write up, but suffice to say, King Kenny has not turned things round and looks as clueless as Woy currently. Most forms have WBA as odds-on in this and I think that gives punters the opportunity to clean up. Most of Blackpool's best results have been on their travels and I'll be backing another such result in this. Best price on the away win is 4.6 with Victor Chandler and I'd make that a must-back this weekend.
Wigan v Fulham, Saturday 1500
This match has little to offer the neutral. Both teams have struggled for wins this term and will regard this as a must-not-lose rather than a must-win. Fulham's problems on the road are well known now and against a Wigan team that doesn't concede many in front of their 7 fans they'll struggle. Wigan are utter dross too though and it would be with no confidence at all I'd back them on match prices. With Hugo Rodallega and Charles Insomnia in the side they do have some class, but scoring has been a problem. Fulham are still without Bobby Zamora and Moussa Dembele still looks rusty so I think Wigan could keep them at bay. Skybet go 2.87 on a Wigan clean sheet and that's the one for me here.
West Ham v Arsenal, Saturday 1730
The late kick-off sees Avram Grant again looking likely to lose his job if he loses another match. The poor sod should really just quit and tell the David's and Brady what a truly useless bunch of owners they are. Whilst the Hammers poor start is still hampering them, they have been looking a lot better in the last month and are above Chelsea in 9th in the current form table. I am aware he is seen as some sort of chancer who just gets jobs from his mates, but a look at Grant's CV will reveal that, whilst not one of the greats, he's no fool. Arsenal travel on the back of failing to beat 2 Championship sides in the cups in the last week. Particular scorn should be reserved for Andrey Arshavin, in my opinion, as he looks completely disinterested this season. When he decides to make some effort he undoubtebly possesses an ability to open a defence, but he looks like he needs a move to give him a kick up the arse. Wenger is not renowned as a motivator and it seems he is not the man to raise Arshavin out of his current malaise. It's not just the meerkat alike that is struggling though, Nicklas Bendtner was horrible in both matches. I'm not so sure he's as bad as a lot of people would have you believe, but he isn't as good as he himself believes either. RVP should be back for this and that should see a more clinical edge returning. I think this could be one of those matches where Arsenal hit their stride so I'll handicap them by a goal on the asian handicap at a widely available 2.0.
Birmingham v Aston Villa, Sunday 1200
To kick-off a jam-packed, derby-filled Sunday it's the second city derby with Villa making the short trip to St Andrews. Both teams have not been firing recently and are struggling for goals. Matt Derbyshire has always looked a good player not getting a run to me, and that seems set to continue at the Blues. He scored 2 goals in their away win at Millwall in the FA Cup, before returning to the bench for their 2-1 Shit Beer Cup at West Ham. I think he could be an answer to their chronic lack of goals, but Big Eck seems reluctant to start him as the Fat One did at Blackburn. The horrible Fat Man. Villa have been absolutely useless under Ged Houllier for the most part. They have had players retuning from injury now and this has seen a 3-3 draw at Stamford Bridge followed by a 3-1 away win at Scunny in the FA Cup. The fans will hope this marks a return to the form they showed when playing hoofball under Martin O'Neill. I think they'll be lucky to win this though. Brum fans are putting pressure on McCleish to start with more than just the dreadful Zigic up front and I think he'll start this derby by attacking Villa's porous backline. Ladbrokes are 2.5 on a home win and that's good enough for me.
Sunderland v Newcastle, Sunday 1200
The second of the day's 3 derbies sees Sunderland seeking revenge on Newcastle at the Stadium Of Light. The undoubted highlight of the Geordie's season so far was the 5-1 mauling they gave their neighbours at St James Park and will live long in the memory of those who saw it. Steve Bruce has been given plenty of money at Sunderland and it is beginning to finally look like it has been well spent with their home form being superb in the main. If they could replicate some of their home performances on the road they'd be certainties for Europa League. Lee Cattermole seems to have curbed his early season bout of dickheadery which led to 2 red cards in quick succession. Asamoah Gyan has looked a good buy and Danny Welbeck has also looked an inspired loan signing. They actually look a much better side on paper than Liverpool, and who'd have thought that 2 years ago? Newcastle are capable of upsetting the odds, as they've proved a few times already, but they need Andy Carroll playing well generally to do so. He is still nursing a thigh strain after reportedly falling off his stool after 3 or 4 too many Jagerbombs on a night out. What. A. Man. Dirty shit that stuff, but we need more characters in the sport I think. This has seen him out of action for a while and he will at best be a bit rusty for this match. A few firms are still out at 2.2 on a home win and I'd take that before it settles around 2.1 on match day.
Liverpool v Everton, Sunday 1405
And so we finally arrive at this, King Kenny's return to derby action on Merseyside. Having been variously hailed as some sort of Messiah by certain parts of the Pool support, he has so far got a record of played 2, lost 2. Had Woy Hodgson lost to Blackpool after leading, and playing shit right back with no left foot Glen Johnson at left back, he would have come in for a roasting. So far this seems to have been glossed over by the 'best fans in the world'TM, in all the fawning over how good Pool were 20 years ago when he was last in charge. The fact they have steadily declined and barring Torres and Gerrard the current side would barely make that teams reserve side, is also a seldom heard thought on the red half of the divide. Everton are barely doing better. They seem to be having one of their season's of struggle and it has coincided with a complete loss of form from all their strikers. They desperately need some attacking impetus in this window or the season is in danger of becoming a complete write off. The motivation for both sides in this will be huge, and their will be the lesser spotted Anfield roar present. I think this might lead to some 'over-enthusiastic' challenges as players try to prove what 'men' they are. A sending off is priced up at 2.95 with Betfair and I think it's worth a tickle in a game that could go either way.
Tottenham v Man Utd, Sunday 1610
The last match of the weekend sees the still underwhelming United travelling to Shite Fart Lane to take on Twitchy Chops men. Spurs have struggled against the top 4 in recent years and need to improve that record if they are serious about breaking regularly into the Champions League and making a league challenge. They will rarely get a better chance to beat United. Away from home they have been particularly poor, and it is a damning indictment on the league that they are somehow still unbeaten. I suspect that the 'new Messi' as Bale seems to have been dubbed by Sky Sports, will struggle against the young and quick Rafael for United. They will be more likely to have success playing through the excellent Luka Modric and Rafa Van Der Vaart in the middle. Carrick and Fletcher in particular have looked like a pair of sluggish cloggers this term and if Spuds men perform they could be over-run. I would expect Rooney to return to the team, but possibly given a more withdrawn role to help the midfield. I personally think his new contract will go down as one of the biggest mistakes in football when Hernandez takes his starting role next season, but that's for another time. I will be all over Spurs like an Essex girl round a footballers appendage at 3.0 at Paddy Power.
Friday, 7 January 2011
New Year, same old shhhh...
Welcome to 2011 followers. I'm sure we're all wishing for a lot of positive changes to football in 2011, but much as I hate to disappoint...FIFA will still be a corrupt bunch of clowns, the FA will still be a spineless load of old twats and Big Fat Sam will get another job. The awful fat tosser. Nani will still go down like a sack of shite whenever anyone has the audacity to attempt to take the ball off him, Glen Johnson will still be linked with moves upwards of £15mil even though he's utter gash. The more that changes, the more stays the same. I will compile my own irreverent review of last year's events, as well as a preview of what can be expected in 2011 in the next week or two. Something for you all to get excited about I'm sure! My musical recommendation to welcome this 2011 in is Rotting Out by Descendents, a 2 minute beauty.
As it's FA Cup weekend this week I'll try and pick out a couple of possible upsets and do some tips for the 'Big' games.
Arsenal v Leeds, Saturday 1245
The weekend kicks off with former greats, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds travelling to The Emirates to take on The Gunners. Arsenal once again showed on Wednesday night why they frustrate punters and neutral fans alike. They tore Man City apart for large spells before fart-arsing around in front of the 18 yard line and generally refusing to lower themselves to shooting. When they did let fly, they hit the post a couple of times through Van the Man, but rather than this being an example to others, the rest of his team-mates continued pissing about. All masturbation and no ejaculation, in my opinion. Leeds have been something of a suprise in The Championship this season. They only came up this season, but along with the mighty Norwich City, have immediately made themselves known at the top end of the table. They get plenty of goals, but their problem comes in keeping them out. This should see Arsenal taking advantage if wenger puts anything resembling a proper team out. Hopes of a repeat of last season's cup heroics will be extinguished early for those wonderful Yorkshiremen making the trip. Ladbrokes go 2.1 on Arsenal -1.75 on the asians and I'd recommend that.
Millwall v Birmingham, Saturday 1330
Second game in and my first possible upset. Birmingham are absolute gash at present. Toothless up front and beginning to wobble at the back. Millwall have had a mixed season, but have been good at home and in Steve Morison they have a striker that will surely get a chance in the rem sooner or later. He's a big, strong lad, who has got goals at every level so far and is continuing in the 2nd tier. I think Birmingham might rest players for this one as staying in the Prem will surely be the priority for Alex McCleish. The first team is bad enough, so Millwall should really fancy their chances of gaining an upset in this. Best price is 2.5 and it's still pretty easy to find.
Doncaster v Wolves, Saturday 1500
In amongst the 3pm kick offs we find this potential banana skin! Donny have been nicknamed 'the Arsenal of the Championship' for the way they go about their football, and when on song they can be a tremendous side. Whilst Wolves have been much improved of late in the league, we have all seen in previous season's how Mick McCarthy treats matches/competitions he isn't fussed about. I would expect wholesale changes to the team from the win over Chelsea. because Doncaster itself is a bit of a dump, with very little to attract people too the place, they struggle to compete financially with their Championship rivals. This is a chance to shine for the team and possibly to put themselves in the shop window for a move to a bigger side. Motivation enough for me to back them at 2.8 with Stan James.
Hull v Wigan, Saturday 1500
Another Champo v Prem match up in this one. Hull started the season in the form they were in for around 18 months, in a word, dogshit. However comma they have turned things around a bit of late to record some points and begin to move away from the basement. Wigan are shit. I would not be suprised to see a record low away attendance for this, maybe only 100 or so. They have about as many fans as Austrian DIY entusiast Joseph Fritzl and deserve to be in League 1 or 2 for me. I can't stand their chairman Dave Whelan and how he thinks his opinion is wanted on every-bloody-thing that comes up in football. He's a no mark, bald twat, and I'd rather he just pissed off back to running chav clothing specialists JJB. I fancy Hull to get through to Round 4 in this and Betfred are a best priced 2.75.
Stevenage v Newcastle, Saturday 1730
the late game on TV is self proclaimed 'massive club' (but with sod all trophies, ever) travelling to League 2 Boro. Stevenage have performed well in their first season back in the League proper, and home form has been a large part of that. They have a fairly small, compact ground, that makes it a less than favoured trip for most sides. Newcastle will make the trip buoyed by their victory over a piss-poor West Ham side in midweek. Having played better over the xmas period, The Irons reverted to type with a truly insipid display. It's easy to make the foreigners don't fancy it assessment, but from what I've seen that is the problem. The English lads are trying, but their doesn't appear to be any team spirit and that makes them seem lost at times. Back to Newcastle, Leon Best made his return to first team action with a hat-trick and I'd expect him to start here too. Goals often come in gluts, so I'll be a backer at 2.87 with Boylesports on him finding the onion bag at some stage.
Man Utd v Liverpool, Sunday 1330
This will in all likelihood be Woy Hodgson's farewell to the Anfield hotseat. His position has surely become untenable with yet another pathetic away surrender, this time at Blackburn Rovers. Rovers couldn't even field more than 7 of their regular starters, yet Pool contrived to make them look like Barcelona. It is clear from Torres body language and Reina's regression that something isn't right in the dressing room and whether that's Hodgson's fault or not, he has to go for the club to move forward. I personally think that barring Torres being on fire, they have no better a squad than someone like Everton or Bolton, so their league position isn't a huge shock. But, the fact that they rarely even look bothered is reason enough to try a different approach. United continued their run of mediocre performances somehow garnering points with Victory at West Brom. With WBA now without a win in 5 it isn't as impressive as it might have been 2 months ago. Rooney still looks like his goal filled season was the blip, not the norm to me. He's a good player, sometimes very good, but no better than that. More fool Red Nose and the Glazers for caving in to his ridiculous wage demands. He'll be Hernandez understudy in a year if they carry on their respective trajectories. All being said, you can be sure Fergie will want to inflict more pain on Pool, this should see a strong side out. If Blackburn can beat them by 2 I'm going to handicap Utd by 1.0 on the asian at an appealing 2.07 with VCBet.
Tottenham v Charlton, Sunday 1330
The other early match on Sunday sees a London derby with Sloppy Chops men welcoming former Prem regulars Charlton to Shite Fart Lane. The Spuds continued to make Redknapp and Defoe look like the morns they are in losing 2-1 away at Everton this week. Both had claimed they would be in the title fight, not a flaming chance. They're far too inconsistent and look like Ossie Ardiles much-maligned side with all round better players to me. There are no tactics outside of 'score more than them', and this will make sure they never challenge for a league title with 'Arry at the helm. Charlton are pushing for promotion at the top of League 1 having experienced a few years of poor management. Even Spurs bench is good these days, and I would expect them to win this comfortably even if a reserve side is fielded. The pace they are capable of attacking at should see off a League 1 side with ease. Paddy Power qoutes of 2.5 on the Yids to win both halves seems a decent bet to me.
Chelsea v Ipswich, Sunday 1500
As I write this, I am seeing reports Roy Keane has been given more time to spend walking his dog. Much as he was a truly excellent player, and spoke the truth a lot of the time about the modern girly footballer, he was ill suited to management. Especially at a lower level. It's all very well recognising players now are pathetic, stupid creatures ruled by their agents and wives. But, if you then shout and scream and try intimidating them then how can you expect a performance, they'll sulk. This is no way for a grown man to behave, but this is what you supporters of Prem and Champo clubs are largely cheering on. Chelsea have also been on a horrendous run, and were they to lose this then Ancelotti would surely be heading back to Italy. It looks like age has caught up with most of the Chelsea side at the same time, and the lack of planning for the future means that no-one is coming through to replace them. Josh McEachran excepted, he looks a class act. I can only see them heading backwards form here on in. The vicious circle will see Abramovich putting less money in and the team getting worse. This will see him getting bored and eventually pulling out. Whereby a Leeds style fall would not be out of the question. This wont happen Sunday though! Frank Lampard returned to action scoring a penalty on Saturday and will take them all again now. He seems a very good price at 2.0 with a number of firms to score anytime.
Leicester v Man City, Sunday 1600
The last game on Sunday sees Sven hosting his former employers at the Walkers Stadium. Since going to Leicester all sorts of big name sin the latter stages of their careers have been linked with the club. This to me just shows how very ill-suited Sven is to managing without significant cash. Players like David Beckham will not be turning out for his new side, they would do better to look at promising players in lower leagues, but Sven has zero knowledge of this. Expect a couple of seasons of mid-table mediocrity before a parting of ways. City should view this competition as a chance to win some silverware and get in the habit of doing so. One brings two and all that. I can't see Mancini fielding his real stars for this one though, expect Adam Johnson to be given a rare start as well as fringe players like Jo and possibly Adebayor, the lazy twat. This should be more than enough to see off Leicester. Bet365 go 2.2 on the -1.0 asian and I think City can cover it.
As it's FA Cup weekend this week I'll try and pick out a couple of possible upsets and do some tips for the 'Big' games.
Arsenal v Leeds, Saturday 1245
The weekend kicks off with former greats, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds travelling to The Emirates to take on The Gunners. Arsenal once again showed on Wednesday night why they frustrate punters and neutral fans alike. They tore Man City apart for large spells before fart-arsing around in front of the 18 yard line and generally refusing to lower themselves to shooting. When they did let fly, they hit the post a couple of times through Van the Man, but rather than this being an example to others, the rest of his team-mates continued pissing about. All masturbation and no ejaculation, in my opinion. Leeds have been something of a suprise in The Championship this season. They only came up this season, but along with the mighty Norwich City, have immediately made themselves known at the top end of the table. They get plenty of goals, but their problem comes in keeping them out. This should see Arsenal taking advantage if wenger puts anything resembling a proper team out. Hopes of a repeat of last season's cup heroics will be extinguished early for those wonderful Yorkshiremen making the trip. Ladbrokes go 2.1 on Arsenal -1.75 on the asians and I'd recommend that.
Millwall v Birmingham, Saturday 1330
Second game in and my first possible upset. Birmingham are absolute gash at present. Toothless up front and beginning to wobble at the back. Millwall have had a mixed season, but have been good at home and in Steve Morison they have a striker that will surely get a chance in the rem sooner or later. He's a big, strong lad, who has got goals at every level so far and is continuing in the 2nd tier. I think Birmingham might rest players for this one as staying in the Prem will surely be the priority for Alex McCleish. The first team is bad enough, so Millwall should really fancy their chances of gaining an upset in this. Best price is 2.5 and it's still pretty easy to find.
Doncaster v Wolves, Saturday 1500
In amongst the 3pm kick offs we find this potential banana skin! Donny have been nicknamed 'the Arsenal of the Championship' for the way they go about their football, and when on song they can be a tremendous side. Whilst Wolves have been much improved of late in the league, we have all seen in previous season's how Mick McCarthy treats matches/competitions he isn't fussed about. I would expect wholesale changes to the team from the win over Chelsea. because Doncaster itself is a bit of a dump, with very little to attract people too the place, they struggle to compete financially with their Championship rivals. This is a chance to shine for the team and possibly to put themselves in the shop window for a move to a bigger side. Motivation enough for me to back them at 2.8 with Stan James.
Hull v Wigan, Saturday 1500
Another Champo v Prem match up in this one. Hull started the season in the form they were in for around 18 months, in a word, dogshit. However comma they have turned things around a bit of late to record some points and begin to move away from the basement. Wigan are shit. I would not be suprised to see a record low away attendance for this, maybe only 100 or so. They have about as many fans as Austrian DIY entusiast Joseph Fritzl and deserve to be in League 1 or 2 for me. I can't stand their chairman Dave Whelan and how he thinks his opinion is wanted on every-bloody-thing that comes up in football. He's a no mark, bald twat, and I'd rather he just pissed off back to running chav clothing specialists JJB. I fancy Hull to get through to Round 4 in this and Betfred are a best priced 2.75.
Stevenage v Newcastle, Saturday 1730
the late game on TV is self proclaimed 'massive club' (but with sod all trophies, ever) travelling to League 2 Boro. Stevenage have performed well in their first season back in the League proper, and home form has been a large part of that. They have a fairly small, compact ground, that makes it a less than favoured trip for most sides. Newcastle will make the trip buoyed by their victory over a piss-poor West Ham side in midweek. Having played better over the xmas period, The Irons reverted to type with a truly insipid display. It's easy to make the foreigners don't fancy it assessment, but from what I've seen that is the problem. The English lads are trying, but their doesn't appear to be any team spirit and that makes them seem lost at times. Back to Newcastle, Leon Best made his return to first team action with a hat-trick and I'd expect him to start here too. Goals often come in gluts, so I'll be a backer at 2.87 with Boylesports on him finding the onion bag at some stage.
Man Utd v Liverpool, Sunday 1330
This will in all likelihood be Woy Hodgson's farewell to the Anfield hotseat. His position has surely become untenable with yet another pathetic away surrender, this time at Blackburn Rovers. Rovers couldn't even field more than 7 of their regular starters, yet Pool contrived to make them look like Barcelona. It is clear from Torres body language and Reina's regression that something isn't right in the dressing room and whether that's Hodgson's fault or not, he has to go for the club to move forward. I personally think that barring Torres being on fire, they have no better a squad than someone like Everton or Bolton, so their league position isn't a huge shock. But, the fact that they rarely even look bothered is reason enough to try a different approach. United continued their run of mediocre performances somehow garnering points with Victory at West Brom. With WBA now without a win in 5 it isn't as impressive as it might have been 2 months ago. Rooney still looks like his goal filled season was the blip, not the norm to me. He's a good player, sometimes very good, but no better than that. More fool Red Nose and the Glazers for caving in to his ridiculous wage demands. He'll be Hernandez understudy in a year if they carry on their respective trajectories. All being said, you can be sure Fergie will want to inflict more pain on Pool, this should see a strong side out. If Blackburn can beat them by 2 I'm going to handicap Utd by 1.0 on the asian at an appealing 2.07 with VCBet.
Tottenham v Charlton, Sunday 1330
The other early match on Sunday sees a London derby with Sloppy Chops men welcoming former Prem regulars Charlton to Shite Fart Lane. The Spuds continued to make Redknapp and Defoe look like the morns they are in losing 2-1 away at Everton this week. Both had claimed they would be in the title fight, not a flaming chance. They're far too inconsistent and look like Ossie Ardiles much-maligned side with all round better players to me. There are no tactics outside of 'score more than them', and this will make sure they never challenge for a league title with 'Arry at the helm. Charlton are pushing for promotion at the top of League 1 having experienced a few years of poor management. Even Spurs bench is good these days, and I would expect them to win this comfortably even if a reserve side is fielded. The pace they are capable of attacking at should see off a League 1 side with ease. Paddy Power qoutes of 2.5 on the Yids to win both halves seems a decent bet to me.
Chelsea v Ipswich, Sunday 1500
As I write this, I am seeing reports Roy Keane has been given more time to spend walking his dog. Much as he was a truly excellent player, and spoke the truth a lot of the time about the modern girly footballer, he was ill suited to management. Especially at a lower level. It's all very well recognising players now are pathetic, stupid creatures ruled by their agents and wives. But, if you then shout and scream and try intimidating them then how can you expect a performance, they'll sulk. This is no way for a grown man to behave, but this is what you supporters of Prem and Champo clubs are largely cheering on. Chelsea have also been on a horrendous run, and were they to lose this then Ancelotti would surely be heading back to Italy. It looks like age has caught up with most of the Chelsea side at the same time, and the lack of planning for the future means that no-one is coming through to replace them. Josh McEachran excepted, he looks a class act. I can only see them heading backwards form here on in. The vicious circle will see Abramovich putting less money in and the team getting worse. This will see him getting bored and eventually pulling out. Whereby a Leeds style fall would not be out of the question. This wont happen Sunday though! Frank Lampard returned to action scoring a penalty on Saturday and will take them all again now. He seems a very good price at 2.0 with a number of firms to score anytime.
Leicester v Man City, Sunday 1600
The last game on Sunday sees Sven hosting his former employers at the Walkers Stadium. Since going to Leicester all sorts of big name sin the latter stages of their careers have been linked with the club. This to me just shows how very ill-suited Sven is to managing without significant cash. Players like David Beckham will not be turning out for his new side, they would do better to look at promising players in lower leagues, but Sven has zero knowledge of this. Expect a couple of seasons of mid-table mediocrity before a parting of ways. City should view this competition as a chance to win some silverware and get in the habit of doing so. One brings two and all that. I can't see Mancini fielding his real stars for this one though, expect Adam Johnson to be given a rare start as well as fringe players like Jo and possibly Adebayor, the lazy twat. This should be more than enough to see off Leicester. Bet365 go 2.2 on the -1.0 asian and I think City can cover it.
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